Something had been bothering me for quite some time , that I lost 80k in the market. I saw some news where someone committed suicide after checking his robin hood account on his loss.
Nidhi usually helped me through it but there were times when I got depressed about it. I always thought that if I don’t spend it I would have 80k as a downpayment for home or could get scar and never have to think about going with her to some random place without thinking twice. I always shrugged of these thoughts but they never went away completely. I used to feel some guilt about it. I expressed it to her recently that how I have been pulled back our savings few years because of what I did, how I have put our future home on hold because of this and I so want us to have things what she desires like a backyard garden to grow some vegetables and a pretty place for us to call home. She embraced me and I immediately felt better. Just knowing that she is there has helped me move forward. I have been a financial mess and she has never complained about it and from what I have heard from my friends , in their experience she is rare girl to let it go like that which I have known all along. She told me she would never leave me because of my financial mess but maybe because of my behavior lol . Having someone who has your back whom you want to spend the rest of the life with is very comforting. Its like having that perfect chair with lumbar back support and armrest which you never want to leave.